i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
