i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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