I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize