STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
