What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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