Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize