Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
