His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
