What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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