im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
