I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
