I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
