Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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