Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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