Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
