what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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