Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
