at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
