so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
