Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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