At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Hippo gnu deer
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
