i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she looked like the before picture.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
