I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
