There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
