ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
