chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
