question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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