Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
