omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
