Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
