Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
