the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
