All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
