Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
