Christians are straight up FREAKS
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
