He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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