so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I love you. Go after that dick
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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