my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
