don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
