He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
