i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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