I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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