That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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