Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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