Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I am one with the molecules
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
