He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
