yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
