I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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