Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
