So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
