Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
