So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
