So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
