Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
