he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
cat food counts as protein by the way
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
