also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Randomize
