Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I think my moral compass just broke
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
