Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
