hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
